Should I stay or should I go?

Knowing when to leave a relationship

What do you do if you really want to leave someone but something is holding you back?

This situation can come up with friends, lovers or even family members.  In many ways, the nature of the relationship can confuse us.  We can hang on to something that is causing us immense amount of pain and heartache because we believe that this person is our soul mate, because we sense somehow that we have an intense past life connection, or because they are a member of our family.

I believe that we do choose our family members and that we can also have soul-contract agreements with soul mates and friends.  Even so, the lesson we might have elected to explore can be one of letting go rather than continuing to struggle through something that is incredibly painful and destructive to us.

We also have to work out exactly what it is we are supposed to be letting go of.  In my past, I have chosen to let go of some relationships that dragged me through total agonies and ecstasies, particularly those where there was definitely a past life connection.  Sometimes, though, the lesson we might have elected to learn can be about releasing our expectations.  My relationship with my mother was very stormy but rather than walking away from my relationship with her, I chose to let go of my expectations of her and the kind of mother that she ‘should’ be, and the relationship transformed and healed.

When faced with the question of letting go, if you find that releasing your expectations and maintaining healthy boundaries doesn’t diminish the drama within a relationship, then could be time to let go of the relationship itself, especially if someone is behaving in a way that is abusive towards you.

In working with people over the years, I’ve lost count of the times people have said that they really want to leave the relationship that they are in, but they couldn’t because they didn’t feel the other person would be able to go on without them.

Staying with a relationship we no longer want to be in denies the sacred in the other person, or at the very least their chance to connect with their own sacred power.  Making it about what we think the other person could or couldn’t cope with can be a way of us masking our own fears about striking out on our own.  It serves no one.  After all, if you stay where you no longer want to be, you could be preventing that other person from meeting someone who might really want to be with them, or from becoming truly independent.

We all have our own journey in life and we can’t walk anyone else’s for them.  If you want to leave, you can do so with love and trust that whatever happens next is the right thing for all concerned.

Deep joy to you

Michele x

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